yeay! for the Coquille public library.

(written Oct. '10) Yeay! for public libraries. They're not just a warm pleasant welcoming place for the homeless to spend the day. Though that they are. The Coquille Oregon branch was a haven for me while dealing with my mom's recent encarceration, aptly named by a prosecuting attorney, "The Case of a Nic Fit Gone Bad." I'd just narrowly escaped foreclosure on my home in August, and am still struggling to get my head back above water funded solely by unemployment benefits and rental income. Spending around $2000 in gas, car repair, and road expenses, in the last 2 months in support of my mom's crisis, has not helped my own cause. Well, maybe it has spiritually, psychologically or philosophically. Its hard to know. But financially, scholastically, professionally, definately not. The resources at the Coquille public library were my saving grace. A bathroom in the morning after spending nights sleeping in my ex's van or my mom's subaru station wagon. The internet for keeping in touch with friends and family worried about me and mom, helping me feel supported in my struggle, helping me feel sane, focused, loved, and legitimate though temporarily homeless.

Anyway, I picked up a book on display, "Alex & Me," by Irene M. Pepperberg. I obtained a temporary lending card to borrow it. Just finished it today. It was really entertaining and informative, about the author's experiences in scientific research with an African Grey Parrot into animal cognition. This is a subject dear to my heart. In exhibiting mysterious cognitive abilities, I believe animals including ourselves also exhibit our souls. Soul can be described as higher conciousness. Learning has to do with our souls' inate desire for self cultivation, evolution, improvement. Some would say it has to do with self preservation, survival. But what motivates our struggle to survive rather than just lay down and die? I believe it is our souls' desire to contribute to and express the beauty it percieves in living. When either it feels satisfied in it's accomplishment of that goal, no longer driven by any new urgency of a new expression of that goal, or completely frustrated and hopeless towards such goals, that is when a soul decides to let go the challenges of life and seek its final rest. Survival is about enabling future generations to continue the struggle to express itself with life. "Life" in this context can be defined as: the beauty and order of the universe, the unity and infinitismal order of matter and energy, or universal conciousness.

Anyway, it was a good read that I sped through. Here are some more I've enjoyed on the subject: The White Bone, Barbara Gowdy, is a fictional novel along the lines of Watership Down, ________, an autobiography of a personified african elephant named Mud. ______by _______, that I just loaned to FNG (sorry for incomprehensible notes to self, if I don't get back in here to fill in blanks, finish editing this entry,) the author's personal search and conversations with cutting edge biologists and animal behaviouralists on their recent work on animal intelligence and his ideas about soul. _______ that biology book I liked about bees and starfish, well written, thouroughly entertaining bite sized non-fiction vinettes about the facinating details of a few specific animals and how they've adapted to cope in their environments. The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat, Oliver Sachs, a similarly organized and thoroughly fascinating book about our human brains, clues to how they function as displayed by individuals who are missing parts. His genius combined with his compassion in his search for solutions to his patients' struggles is heartwarming and inspirational as well as comedic.

Serendipity

Burning Man - Painting on Location with Roger Bansemer from Roger Bansemer on Vimeo.

Check out this video my stepmom sent me that her friends made about painting Center Camp at burning man! Joel walks through at 11:45 from the right. Here is my stoked correspondance to my fam about it:

I'm really enjoying this video. I can not get enough of Bman memorobilia. I can't tell you how important this event, this culture, is to me in my life. And do you believe it, the camera man caught Joel walking by at the end of dude's painting! at about 11:45 in the movie, right after the guy says he's done with his painting of center camp! Joel comes in from the right. He's a bit chubby with kaki shorts a dark t-shirt, kaki bandana on his head, his back pack. This sort of magical serendipity is sooo common at Bman, I can't tell you. I mean there are over 50,000 people in Black Rock City. It is the largest city in Nevada, bigger than Reno or Carson, while it exists for that week. So for Joel to walk by in this little video that my step mom sends me, that their friends made in NC, is kinda crazy. It just shows the incredible serendipitous connection we all have with one another, or something weird like that.

There are only 2 items you can purchase with real world money at Bman, coffee and ice. Everything else you need to bring with you, or your neighbors share it with you. Center camp is where you get the coffee. Its open 24/7. Its also a major place to meet up with friends because its easy to find, centrally located, and easy to hang out waiting for a long time; its impossible to be prompt at burning man. There are couches, events, little art projects to get involved with, its shady and protected some what from the wind and dust storms. Its a place you can feel very safe any hour of the day or night. There are performances on a stage 24/7, open mike, poetry, lectures, rock bands, etc.

In the very center of the center camp tent, which you can see in the background of his art demo, is a space for yoga, contact yoga, dance, any kind of movement really. There is a "ball of poo," (not shown) a bunch of winney the poo stuffed animals sewn into a big ball a bit bigger than a pilates ball, which is fun to tackle and roll around with, there are cushions and pillows against a short wall all surrounding the yoga/dance pit where I and everyone, like to enjoy my coffee watching people play in the yoga pit, or cat nap in the heat of the day (its hard to sleep or do anything at your own camp in the middle of the day, so hot;) its so constantly busy that the hub bub makes a soothing white noise and maybe all the pillows and couches absorb sound, so its really pleasant to nap here when you haven't been able to sleep anywhere else for awhile. Its really hard to sleep at bman, because there is just so much exciting stuff going on 24/7, especially at night while the weather is cold and all the lights go up. There is such an electric vibe everywhere like NYC.

I had to share this with you even before finishing the movie because it was so cool to see joel walking by. I'll finish watching and probably add more commentary.

happy b-day Mark, by the way.
You're welcome to join us at B-man anytime. I got your water, food, bike, and shelter covered, you just gotta get your ticket and fly to Reno. I think its the best way to get a job at Google, because I heard the event is as important to the guy who runs google as it is to me. They have a big camp and trapeze teaching set up.

Date: Sun, 11 Jul 2010 19:43:50 -0700
From: XXXXXX
Subject: Fw: (you guys've got to see this)
To: XXXXXX

All I've got to say is, "hey, this is crazy, man!"

Roger and Sarah Bansemer are artists who live near H'ville part of the year. They went to Burning Man and made this video. If you need to skip the "art part," do so, but YA GOTTA SEE THE "CARS"!! (including the very last one!)

I will add here; not without emense enthusiasm, a choked up sentimental tear in my eye, no hint of stuck up "been there done that" feeling whatsoever; I have in fact seen all of these art cars already, in person, some of them spitting fire, I've jumped on a lot of them including your friends' "never been" train car. All art cars at Bman are required to let people on and take them along to where ever they are headed within the limits of their carrying capacity. This is a major part of the whole thing. This is a major activity you do daily at bman. You check out the cool art cars, you jump on them while parked and look around, praise the artist, chat with them about their vision and inspiration, you can wait till they leave or you can try to flag one down that is already moving across the playa, like a taxi, or just appreciate them as sculpture while they are parked.

Pink Afro Puff

Sak o' Sammies,
ground scores of the day

I'd like to add a gadget in my sidebar under my donation rotator called "Sak o' Sammies, ground score of the day." I thought of this last winter when I snagged a particularly well timed treasure from the snow. When I spotted it from the chair lift, I thought the brown paper sack might be a q.p. of "giggle twigs," "electric lettuce". When I got to it however, it turned out to be a Morman family size sack of sandwiches. I was super hungry. I zipped the sack into the front of my puffy coat and rode it down to the bottom of the lift, looking for its long lost family. The shuffling touron cattle snickered at my query, but no one claimed it. Ravenous lifties and I then tore into it like vultures. Voila! Ground score of the day.

I love Ferris Plock's work.

The Seafarers - Sea of Love from Eighty Four Films on Vimeo.

I'm a fan of Ferris Plock and Kelly Tunstall. I dig this video. It hits home where possession vs. freedom is an issue I struggle with. I'm torn between submitting to the joy of monogamous love, safety and passion with Joel or reclaiming freedom, momentum, and peaceful clear sense of self.

Keeping ocean fish as pets is a sucky idea, impressive as it is. I saw a nearly floor to ceiling tank while serving papers at a fancy law firm in Chicago once and dreamt of owning fish myself someday when I'd be "rich." Now I'm thankful I've had the chance to scuba dive, swimming with the fish, viewing them in the comfort of their own natural homes instead of imprisoning them. (Read The Voyages of Dr. Doolittle, Fidget's Story, for more ocean fish perspective.)I've learned that a lot of reef habitat gets destroyed by aquarium industry while capturing live fish for sale. They squirt cyanide in the rare fishes faces to stun them, often killing them and always destroying coral and other life nearby. This practice developed in the Philippines but is now widespread where ever there are pristine coral reef and beautiful rare fish . There are regulations against these practices; however, like all animal poaching, the business is so lucrative that while the demand for pretty aquarium stock is so great, cyanide fishing will continue to ruin reef environments. Sorry to spoil it for you, but notice that your favorite restaurant's fish tanks often change stock. Some aquarium fish may live a few years with excellent care and a lot of luck. In their own habitat they would live a lot longer. Most aquarium fish last only a month or so.

Dear Mr. Kingsbury,
I wrote you a well composed letter, persuasive and organized, preened to be respectful and concise. I know better than to compose inside the message thing where you can’t save as you go. I got timed out by Etudes and lost it. So I jogged with my dog, cooked salmon tacos (with herbs from my garden,) sulked, then watched several episodes of Trailer Park Boys.
It sounds lame, but I’ve been killing myself doing the work for this class. My boyfriend has been sad for me, my nose in the book and computer constantly, loosing sleep, having no fun. (I had fun this weekend with my friends from SF and in Tahoma. I want more.) I keep assuring him, “I’m enjoying the challenge, I’m succeeding, I can get an A like my other classes this year, I’m almost caught up, then I’ll go have fun, I’m having a sort of fun doing this work, I’ll never get a degree, grow up, succeed in life, if I don’t buckle down and persevere with this work.” But I’m pale and fat, lethargic and stuffy. I gave up on Boot Camp and Afro Cuban dance because I stay up late doing this homework. I haven’t had much fun this year at all. I didn’t snowboard hardly this winter, which is completely against my grain. I haven’t even swum in the lake this summer yet.

I mistakenly thought my fancy mountain bike got stolen again this weekend. Turned out I just left it locked up at work on Fri.

Beware of coons the size of coyotes

Some long lost friends found me on Facebook to say Hi. These friends weren't just acquaintances, they were all 3 close to me. I think of them, wondering how they are and what they're up to.
Its so good to hear from you. This entry is for you, Marcella, JK, and Todd. I'm touched you want to know about me. So here it is: I live in South Lake Tahoe. Its fresh and piney. Coyotes call to one another at night. They, bears and raccoons the size of coyotes ravage our garbage if we put it out before pick up. We're at elevation (7000 ft in town, 9800 at Kirkwood) where the air is clear and thin. When we go to the Bay, we get all this extra pizazz from the extra oxygen. SF is 3-4 hrs drive east, Santa Cruz, 4. We're on the Nevada boarder so casino gambling supposedly brings dollars to town, but to me it seems the casinos draw the tourists away from our California businesses and attract bad elements that suck off of us rather than contribute.

my work at school

Oooewe, nifty! We just wrote the java script for that neat little ad rotator on your left there, in class! My teacher just helped me load it on my template here. cool, huh? Here's some work I've done in my graphics class with same teacher:


These are what the front pages of some websites I'm building will look like. The Sumatra Climb one, the words will be animated. They'll explode out of the cannon. Its going to be a site for a friend who helps people climb near Padang. He'll use my site as advertising for his guiding/leading services.
I have a paypal acct. I want to start selling stuff on the internet. I have alot of ideas that I won't go into right now but here's another graphic front page I built for class:

It was just homework but I have a vision for an educational portal site for it.